Tag Archives: help

Personal Definitions…

Depression is something I deal with on a daily basis. Some days I struggle with it harder than others. I never really talk about it because for some reason, it is really hard for people to understand and grasp.  This especially came true when the great Robin Williams committed suicide and so many people could not fathom how someone who was so funny, so personable, so talented, and so well off could be depressed. So in light of a conversation I had (tried to have) with someone I felt I could trust (I couldn’t), I  wanted to touch on some of what depression is and isn’t:

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The One In Which I Finally Give In…

I am the type of person that I will not ask for help; not until I absolutely cannot figure out how to do it myself. Even then, I will research something first before I ask someone else to help me. I am not sure if that is pride or not, but I am  sure that this trait has caused many unfinished projects. I’m not going to lie, this novel was almost one of them.

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Friday Nights with Merlot

I hope everyone had a great week. I guess it is technically no longer Friday night, but early Saturday morning. To me it is still Friday night, and that is how it shall be.

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I need a cheerleader.

No one asks me, “Hey, that book you are writing, how is it going?”

And it’s not like I need it. Okay, I do…sort of. I mean, it would be nice if someone in the very (repeat very about twenty times) small circle of people I associate with would at least mention it sometimes. I know I should self motivate. I should wake up every morning happy and excited that not only do I have a story to tell, but I also have a computer and fingers to type that bad boy up. Yay me! The truth of the matter is, I have been working on rewriting this one chapter for two days now. And not because I don’t have the ideas in my head, but because I just have motivation, and once i do feel motivated, the words look stupid and sound stupid and are stupid, just stupid.

I guess it would be nice to have someone every once in a while take this as seriously as I am. Maybe it is because I have never expressed that I want to write a book until just in the middle of a conversation, “So, hey, I’m writing a book. Can you pass me the wine?” Maybe it is because I never finish anything, but I really want to with this. I want to and I believe I can.

My head is in the clouds, and I think it deserves to be there; at least for a little while anyway. I have one friend that when I am asked what I did today and my answer is that i tried to write, the response is, “Oh.” Another that just changes the subject to what i should do about finding a job, and let’s not even get started on my mother who i think forgets half the time what I tell her.

If someone searched my Google history, they would find it filled with searches on “what to do if my book sucks,” “I hate my book,” and “self motivation for writers.” I guess sometimes I just feel alone, and I know that is part of the process. I don’t want to be hounded on a hourly basis about my word count, or how many chapters have I written this 30 minute block of time. But maybe a mention or asking about it every once in a while would be nice, ya know?

I know, I know. If I am writing this, then I should probably be working on this chapter i can’t finish. But maybe I just needed to get this out of my head so it could stop blocking everything that wants to come out.

Anyone out there reading this have any suggestions on how you self motivate yourself when it feels like no one has your back?

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How much is too much?

When I wrote the first draft of my book, I went back and read it at the same time my beta was reading it and we both came to the same conclusion; the relationship in the middle and end of the book did not match the beginning. In other words, there was not enough of a foundation to the relationship to warrant the fact that the MC was willing to risk her life to save the other MC.

Because the female MC is very much a stranger to the male MC in the beginning, I felt there needed to be more of “here is how we got to this point” in the beginning. But how much is too much? The parts that I have totally rewritten or added I feel they are essential and they also help move the story along, but there are also some pretty mundane moments that are just everyday things that happen and not mind blowing events

I’m at almost 49K words on this revision, and I still haven’t gotten to the climax yet, and then after that is still more. So I just wonder if any of your writers out there have any advice for me.

How much story is too much story?

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Wine, the GOP, and procrastination 

So this is my second blog post, yay me!

I have eagerly awaited tonight’s GOP debate and it is finally here. Don’t get me wrong, while I am always very concerned with the political platforms our possible presidential candidates are taking, this excitement is for nothing but sheer entertainment possibilities. I say possibilities because I have a feeling the two firecrackers will try and class it up tonight instead of show their ass like normal, but God I hope they don’t. 

Please by all means, you flip that wig Donald damn Trump. And Chris Christie, please…pleaseplease threaten to slap someone. I got two whole bottles of cheap wine and a bag of $1.99 white cheddar popcorn just waiting for this, please make it worth my while.

In other news, I haven’t edited the second draft of my book in two days. I have been finding everything else to do other than write. My desk has never been cleaner, I played outside with hummingbirds, I have responded in a timely fashion to people commenting on Facebook, and I figured out that I lost one of my two followers on Twitter. Is this normal? Does anyone else experience this time where they just find anything else to do other than write? Are there any suggestions for helping me get back to focus on this?

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