Tag Archives: depression

One of Those Days…

Today was one of those days that I had to glue my happy mask to my face and push through.

It wasn’t an all bad day. There were some highlights – I will never take away from the highlights, but the day just left me needing more.

It was one of those days that you just want to lay in bed and tell someone all of your problems, but you don’t want to be a burden.

One of those days you could cry at anything, but you choke it all back because no one wants to see that.

One of those days you just need a hand to hold, but you hold your own.

One of those days you feel ashamed to even be writing the words out, but you have to.

Have you ever had a day that even though the sun is shining, the walls close in.

It’s hard to breathe.

It’s hard to find joy in the sun, but you try so goddamned hard. So hard, it hurts.

The walls have been closing in for a few days now, actually a few weeks. It’s my fault. I won’t deny that. All actions have a reaction.

The walls closed in a lot today. Exhausted me, emotionally.

But, I will be okay.

Because I always am.

 My “try and feel better” song

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Late Night Thoughts (Pt. 1)…

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I watched the movie, Inside Out, tonight. I watched it when I should have been writing.

And I am fine with that. I was fine with that when I made the decision to watch it, and I am definitely fine with that decision after watching it.

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Storm Warning…

What do you do when a storm warning causes everyone to run? Not everyone. There are the ones that resolve to board up the windows, hunker down and ride out the storm…no matter what. Then there are the runners. The ones that would rather not deal with the rain; the ones that would rather not take the time to board up the windows or hold your hand during the heaviest of rains or the strongest of winds. What do you do when the one you thought was the strongest decides to be a runner?

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Personal Definitions…

Depression is something I deal with on a daily basis. Some days I struggle with it harder than others. I never really talk about it because for some reason, it is really hard for people to understand and grasp.  This especially came true when the great Robin Williams committed suicide and so many people could not fathom how someone who was so funny, so personable, so talented, and so well off could be depressed. So in light of a conversation I had (tried to have) with someone I felt I could trust (I couldn’t), I  wanted to touch on some of what depression is and isn’t:

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