I watched the movie, Inside Out, tonight. I watched it when I should have been writing.
And I am fine with that. I was fine with that when I made the decision to watch it, and I am definitely fine with that decision after watching it.
Gosh, what a wonderful movie.
It was not just a wonderful movie because of the humor or the cute characters. It was so much more than that.
I understand that there have been some people that will have their issues:
Sad being a chubby little female character.
Joy being a skinny and tall character.
The boy that goes crazy when he sees a girl.
The list could probably go on and on…but for me there is no list.
As a person that battles different levels of depression everyday, this movie spoke to me on a fundamental level. For me, it put into images and words what I am very sure goes on inside my head everyday. I know that sounds elementary. I know there are not little Pixar characters running around in my head trying to figure out how to steer my direction everyday.
But God it helped seeing it like that. And to be honest with you, if someone asked me how to describe how I feel…I would say this:
Watch the movie, Inside Out. Imagine that my emotion control panel is broken or glitchy 24/7 and sometimes, Joy can get her hands back on the controls.
But a lot of times, she can’t. And the other emotions run a muck taking turns on the controls like it is the newest video game.
That’s what I would say.
I often wonder how pathetic I seem when someone happens across this blog…IF they happen across this blog.
It has no direction.
I use this as what I understood a blog to be: an online journal of emotions for the world to see.
Maybe…one day…when the little Pixar characters inside my head stop arguing and decide to work together in the kind of flow they are supposed to, I’ll delete this whole thing.
Maybe I’ll get rid of this terribly honest account of a time in my life that I am so ready to get past.
But for now, it is here.