No one asks me, “Hey, that book you are writing, how is it going?”
And it’s not like I need it. Okay, I do…sort of. I mean, it would be nice if someone in the very (repeat very about twenty times) small circle of people I associate with would at least mention it sometimes. I know I should self motivate. I should wake up every morning happy and excited that not only do I have a story to tell, but I also have a computer and fingers to type that bad boy up. Yay me! The truth of the matter is, I have been working on rewriting this one chapter for two days now. And not because I don’t have the ideas in my head, but because I just have motivation, and once i do feel motivated, the words look stupid and sound stupid and are stupid, just stupid.
I guess it would be nice to have someone every once in a while take this as seriously as I am. Maybe it is because I have never expressed that I want to write a book until just in the middle of a conversation, “So, hey, I’m writing a book. Can you pass me the wine?” Maybe it is because I never finish anything, but I really want to with this. I want to and I believe I can.
My head is in the clouds, and I think it deserves to be there; at least for a little while anyway. I have one friend that when I am asked what I did today and my answer is that i tried to write, the response is, “Oh.” Another that just changes the subject to what i should do about finding a job, and let’s not even get started on my mother who i think forgets half the time what I tell her.
If someone searched my Google history, they would find it filled with searches on “what to do if my book sucks,” “I hate my book,” and “self motivation for writers.” I guess sometimes I just feel alone, and I know that is part of the process. I don’t want to be hounded on a hourly basis about my word count, or how many chapters have I written this 30 minute block of time. But maybe a mention or asking about it every once in a while would be nice, ya know?
I know, I know. If I am writing this, then I should probably be working on this chapter i can’t finish. But maybe I just needed to get this out of my head so it could stop blocking everything that wants to come out.
Anyone out there reading this have any suggestions on how you self motivate yourself when it feels like no one has your back?